Here are 9 tips on how you can help your child cope with the family transition:
- Explain the divorce to the child at his or her level of understanding without placing blame.
- Always allow the child to express feelings of hurt, anger, etc.
- Reinforce to the child that he or she is not to blame and that both parents will continue to provide love and care for him/her.
- Do not carry-on arguments with the other parent in the child’s presence or within his/her hearing.
- Allow the child to speak with other children who have experienced divorce.
- Seek professional counseling when appropriate.
- Do not use the child as a spy between parents’ households.
- Encourage contact between the child and the other parent’s extended family, e.g., grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
- Do not speak disparagingly of the other parent to the child and do not ask the child to be loyal to only one parent.
One book that I like to share with my divorce clients with minor children is the Dinosaurs Divorce, A Guide for Changing Families by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. You should check it out!